SGRoA: Blood Ties, S1 E13: DOA

Happy Thursday, or whenever you're reading this, I can't tell you what to do. Let's get right to it!

Vicki's opening her office for the day when she realizes someone's behind her. We're supposed to think it's a criminal of some sort, but it's an undercover cop: Deeds. She says he looks like hell, undercover must not agree with him (because she's a bitch! Get it?!) and he says he needs her help with a homicide. She wonders why? He's a cop, he knows how this goes. He says this one's a little weird, because he's the dead guy, and then walks into her office through the door.

Vicki's face rn

So after the credits, we get right into it. I have to give the writers a TON of credit here: they pack in an enormous amount of exposition just with dialogue that feels like two people actually talking, which is not usually a strong suit. Deeds has been divorced 4 times, he doesn't know who killed him, he woke up at his apartment, and he wants to know why he's a ghost. This is all in like, 45 seconds, I'm not kidding, it's great!

Also, why can he sit on the couch, but he just phases right through stuff he wants to touch? Excellent point, Deeds, I'm very sad you're dead. You're the first character I've liked.

He was undercover with a biker gang. Last check in with Fry, his handler, was... well, he can't remember. Doesn't know where his body is. Vicki has more questions, but Coreen comes in, and she can't see Deeds. Womp-womp, that's disappointing, and then Deeds ruins everything by telling Vicki that Coreen is wearing a red thong, so Vicki can... prove to Coreen there's a ghost in the room? Which Coreen already believed?!

kristen wiig in bridesmaids saying "are you fucking kidding me?"

I take back every good thing I said about you, Deeds. gross

Vicki goes right to Mike, since the undercover supervisor isn't going to tell her, a civilian, anything. Mike asks why she's so into Deeds all of a sudden, and she has to admit he's a ghost client. Mike refers to him as 'Dirty' Deeds and says he never trusted him: Deeds didn't care how he closed a case, just that he did. Lotta people might want to see him dead, and the fact that so far, no body has turned up and no one knows he's dead seems to point toward more nefariousness than usual. So says Mike, at least.

Mike says he'll check with Fry -

and Vicki makes a parting shot about him mixing stripes and checks. (Because she's a bitch!)

Vicki heads to Henry's next, obviously. Henry doesn't have a lot of experience with ghosts, and he can't see Deeds - who is rifling through Henry's bedroom. Vicki - who has, in 12 episodes, never once spoken about this guy to Henry, whom she has spent all of those episodes with - defends Deeds' "natural curiosity" and has to be told by Henry to get Deeds out of his things.

I mean, takes one to know one, I'm not perfect, but....

Henry asks for some details, after Deeds asks if Vicki and Henry are together. Vehement denial. So she and Mike are still a thing? Absolutely not. Then Deeds might have a chance? Vicki rolls her eyes.

Deeds was at the Standard, a biker bar, with a girl. Henry says he knows the place - he doesn't always hunt in the opera circuit - and Vick makes a crack about fast food.

Mike has a sit down with Crowley (the character formerly known as Captain Lady) about Deeds. He was running with the Wolverines, backstory of an ex-con with international drug shipment experience. The Wolverines haven't had the best luck lately: drug shipment stolen, member killed, clubhouse firebombed.

not the same Wolverines

Mike says he just has a hunch about Deeds being in trouble; he also says that he was a "good cop, lousy person." Crowley admits that Internal Affairs was looking into him, since he hadn't provided any actionable Intel in months. They're sitting in a diner, across the street from a Wolverines hangout spot, and they both see Deeds show up and interact with the bikers. Like, Deeds makes eye contact and points Mike out to the biker guys on the corner, and Crowley says he's so good at playing his part, he might not be playing anymore.

a black and white dog making a puzzled face. text says "dude, wait, what?"

10 minutes in, and I have such whiplash!

Coreen and Henry are doing research. Henry says Deeds reminds him of a myth he's heard: early vampires visiting loved ones, appearing at first benign, but then stealing the life force of the living. The fact that Deeds doesn't know how or where he was killed disquiets Henry; he doesn't think Deeds is who he says he is, perhaps, or wants what he says he wants. It could be a ghost; it could be Astaroth, or something he sent to do his bidding.

So Mike "arrests" Deeds and brings him back to the precinct, then calls Vicki to come by. Deeds' voice is weird, and he's burning up (he hugs Vicki as if he hasn't seen her) and is eating the world's bloodiest roast beef sandwich, thing looks like it was served with red food coloring as the au jus. I'm a carnivore, but gross. Might be something to this whole vampire variant thing.

Henry heads to the Standard to ask a few questions. He has to mojo the bartender - in this show, they give an extra deepness to his voice, works nicely - and bartender says that Deeds met a girl, they talked, they danced, they headed to the men's room. Deeds booked it out of there a few minutes later, but the girl sat at the bar looking stoned for a few minutes - before she died.

Crowley and Mike have a productive conversation about Deeds, and what he might be doing: maybe not stealing, but selling out the Wolverines, either to another gang or to a different law enforcement agency. Crowley tells Mike to be careful, but yes, keep on it.

Back at her office, Vicki delivers the news that Deeds' body is still walking around, eating gross roast beef, and Ghost!Deeds says "he's killing my health regime" and IT'S A REGIMEN. REGIMEN. Jesus, this one kills me, everyone thinks they're the same fucking word, but they're not! No Child Left Behind really out here leaving everyone born after 1985 behind, huh? Stop reading with vibes!

I'm begging

Anyway, Vicki asks who wants to kill him, and he asks her to specify really kill him, or just sorta kill him. Jesus, Deeds. No wonder you're friends with Vicki.

Vicki and Henry meet at the morgue. Mohadevan has the girl from the bar, who looks to be in her 20s, but has the body of a 70-year-old. And a stomach full of raw meat. Mohadevan says it's like the girl just "burned up".

Deeds shows up in the morgue, and doesn't appear to know Henry ("he's my chiropractor," quips Vicki) or the girl, though he says she's pretty. Henry spies something in his pocket, and after a little weird small talk, Deeds leaves. Vicki maintains that that is not the Deeds she knows; the ghost is the "real" Deeds. Henry is less sure the ghost is even a ghost, and tells Vicki to be vigilant, even around the ghost!Deeds.

Mike is tailing Deeds, and spies him going to The Dragons, another gang in the area. The woman he speaks to tells him he's already received his payment for letting the Dragons take over a Wolverines spot, and she tells him to impress her with more handovers. Deeds is really gross to her, too, basic sexual harassment, and tells her just before she walks off that she'll be "tasty" when she finally lets him hit.

So. Deeds was selling the Wolverines out to the Dragons, and not giving the police anything to work on, and might be a weird, split personality ghostpire.

Look at that. Twice in one ep.

sure, sounds good

The girl from the bar - Tessa - was an addict, ran some drugs low-level. Her mom says she'd gotten clean in the last few months, but wanted to save her still-using boyfriend, who died 4 days before Tessa did.

ned flanders, fry, and other memes looking suspicious

suspicious

The head of the Dragons, Chuntao Fang, seems to be reading a police file?!? when Mike busts into her office. She says she doesn't talk to cops, and he says she talks to Wolverines. He wants to know about Wolverine homicides, and she doesn't give him anything, but I think he was just there to let her know people are paying attention.

Vicki and Henry are coming up with a theory of the monster: it's moving from body to body. First the boyfriend, then Tessa, then Deeds. So ghost!Deeds is probably the real Deeds, and the body is inhabited or possessed or something. Vicki praises Henry's deduction skills, and Henry says he wants to be employed by her, as a detective. She admits he's been very helpful, he almost kisses her, but Coreen comes in with coffee to interrupt. Vicki is snarky, and Coreen pronounces cruller like "crooler", and the subtitles spell it "crueler" and I am confused.

am I insane? it's a cruller!

Deeds does a drive-by in front of a bar. No, I don't know which gang he's targeted, or why. Just drives up, shoots out the window, drives away.

Mike and Vicki have a decidedly unsatisfying meeting. Vicki's found more "burned up" victims that form a straight line to Deeds, but doesn't know what's causing it. Mike can't tell her what he's found, because of the internal affairs investigation, but he does ask Vicki to ask Deeds wtf was going on.

So she does, bizarrely for this show. He gets defensive, obviously, and leaves, despite Vicki telling him that they can maybe get the thing out of his body before it's really dead, and that the thing is attracted to some sort of particular essence - in other words, something was going on with Deeds that made the monster want him, something unsavory. Deeds gives her nothing, but Henry does feel him leave, which can't be good for Deeds' body.

Henry's here because he and Coreen have found the monster, they think: an ekimmu, a Babylonian spirit that moves from body to body to create violence and chaos. It lives in a constant state of hunger, with raw meat its meal of choice. It has to touch people to move on, and if they can get ghost!Deeds to be there when it does, they can maybe put him back in his body. They just need a way to trap the ekimmu, but Vicki says that's not the hard part. They'll have to find Deeds, too, since he just fired her.

Henry ribs her gently about picking a fight in two dimensions (because she's a bitch!), but she says everyone was thinking he was dirty, she had to ask. Henry finally tells her he saw Deeds with papers in his jacket, and it's the file on Chuntao Fang! That's what she was reading; that's why Deeds was hanging around the precinct. If they can figure that out, they can maybe figure out who's next, and fix everything.

so much going on!

Ok, y'all, last 10 minutes, we can do this. So! Vicki and Mike figure out what files are missing, that they're all about Chuntao, and that they're dated before the ekimmu took over Deeds' body. So that determines that Deeds was working to put the Dragons against the Wolverines, and definitely not for the Metro PD. Mike goes to get a warrant from Crowley, and Deeds corners Vicki as soon as Mike leaves.

Vicki tells it she knows what it is, it tries to eat her with this bizarre tongue thing, she kicks Deeds nuts and he runs away.

couldn't help myself

Ghost!Deeds justifies his actions to Vicki, saying he was taking bikers off the street, getting them to fight each other. Vicki says some nonsense about doing things the "right" way and being "one of the good guys" and, well. Y'all know what I feel about that.

But good news! Henry's found a cedar dagger, because Babylonian problems require Babylonian solutions. They have to strike when the ekimmu is between bodies.

Oh, I see, the ekimmu did the drive-by on Wolverines to impress Chuntao and move into her body. Vicki and Henry show up just in time to stab the weird tongue thing (the ekimmu), save Chuntao, and save Deeds.

Or, at least, save Deeds long enough for him to tell Vicki he's sorry, she's right, they are supposed to be good guys, and then he dies.

Mike shows up, and takes an intensely traumatized Chuntao into custody. Vicki apologizes to Henry for being a bitch specifically about Henry not really believing there was a ghost? But he did?

Whatever, it's the end, I do not have the energy to care anymore. At the end of the day, this episode is over, and I have to go to the back to restock my bitch and confusion memes. See you next week!

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SGRoA: Blood Ties, S1 E14: Wild Blood

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SGRoA: Blood Ties, S1 E12: Norman