SGRoA: Vampire Diaries, S2 E12: The Descent

I am guessing no one in this episode will look like that, though I was surprised to find The Descent monsters are just more vamps. I’ve heard plenty about the movie, but never that.

OH! AND! Y’ALL! I was watching that documentary mini-series on the Grey’s Anatomy writer who faked cancer and lied about everything all of the time and stole other people’s traumas to use for Grey’s or for her own life? Her own life?!?!?! AND! IT TURNS OUT!

She wrote for the first two seasons of Vampire Diaries!

Y’all, I was chillin’ on my little beanbag I bought off TikTokShop and I. was. FLOORED. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH!!!!!!!

Ok. NOW let’s get started, while you simmer on the pile of lies and bad writing that woman must have made of her life. Can you imagine?!

Jules wakes up naked in the forest, blood in an artful little line across her mouth. She has apparently killed a hiker or two? or three? there are a LOT of body parts she’s picking up, I have to say. She’s trying to immolate the evidence when a cop pulls up, so she starts crying to get out of it. She says a wolf attacked them all last night and now her friends are dead, and when the deputy turns his back, she - beats him unconscious with a log.

Is it just me? I would have run. Like, a lot. Until I got to my car and got in it and went back to wherever I’m from. She hasn’t committed any crime as far as the deputy is concerned, she hasn’t told him her name, she has no ID on her, no relation to the bodies - If she runs, she’s good. She’ll most likely get away with it, because the deputy won’t want to admit he lost a witness! Why the fuck would you assault an officer when you are, as far as he knows, innocent?

I would accept this kind of shit if it were her first change, if she didn’t know she was a werewolf, if she were panicking. None of that is true, and if you’re going to be a creature in a world of humans, you must know how to get out of illegal situations without making them worse.

Guess our writers’ room was too tired from the “chemo”, eh?

Elena goes to see Stefan, now that he’s out of the tomb. Apparently Elijah told her not to go looking for Klaus, or something? Because Stefan wants to go to Isobel and ask some questions, and Elena is telling him to follow Elijah’s rules and everyone is safe. This was absolutely never said outright, never hinted at, never even entered anyone’s mind until we have to have Elena and Stefan disagreeing, because that’s conflict! All your characters, constantly fighting!

During this, Elena takes a vial with a clear liquid in it, dumps it into a tumbler, and adds water. Apparently it’s vervain for Stefan, for his immunity.

At the same time (at least, according to the language of film and TV), but somehow also in the middle of the night, Damon is trying to help Rose. She says she was born in 1450, so it’s okay if she dies. I mean, I’m super shocked you haven’t yet, given you, like almost every vampire in this show, are a total moron. I can’t believe you’re older than both Grant Black and Mircalla Karnstein and yet have, like, a tenth the sense?

I do not understand these vampires. Also, I can tell I’m getting cranky - not a fantastic pain day, today - so I’mma go have some painkillers and brb. Browse Bluesky while I’m gone.

Hokay, back, feel much better. Damon gets Rose some blood, reminds her how unreliable legends are. Maybe she won’t die! She asks him to check the bite, and, uh… it’s not looking great. He lies to Rose about it, and Elena walks through as he does, and she unconvincingly chimes in that it looks fine!

She’s come to ask Damon to go after Stefan and stop him before he violates Elijah’s (completely imaginary?) rules. Damon asks Elena to watch Rose while he’s gone. Rose insists it isn’t necessary, but Damon says it is. He also sotto-voce in the hall tells Elena that “death happens, it’s better if she dies sooner.” Elena looks shocked, but that’s only because she’s 16.

At The Big Community Event Of The Week, Tyler and Caroline hang out. Before I get to them, though - why is there a Big Community Event every week? This town has, like, 25 people in it and they all love a party, huh?

Caroline is visibly proud of Tyler for doing so well at the full moon. He changed and he didn’t kill anyone! He’ll get better at this! Oh, I love these two so much, something horrible is going to happen to them, isn’t it?

She tells him they need to reinforce the door, because one bite will kill her. Tyler’s shocked: why didn’t she tell him sooner? How does she know? She says, lamely, that she read it somewhere?

…

Does Tyler not know who the vampires in town are? Like, why is Caroline not just saying “Damon and Stefan told me”? What am I missing, here?

Anyway, Matt comes up and Tyler goes, and Caroline is very quick to say that she and Tyler were just talking, there’s nothing between them, she swears! He says he believes her, that she’s never been a liar. And he wants to be straight with her, too: he wants her back. He kisses her.

She pulls away, of course, and tells him it can’t be like that. She doesn’t lie, doesn’t make up a story; she just says it can’t and runs away.

gonna get way too much use out of this one

Over at The Grill, Jules sidles up to Sheriff Liz and asks if there’s any news about Mason.

Girl, you are really really dumb, for real. Ric listens in as Liz says no, no one’s heard from him. She’s opened an investigation, and if anything comes up, she’ll let Jules know.

Ric calls Stefan to tell him Jules is there. Stefan doesn’t care; he’s only there for Isobel’s contact info. Ric seems disappointed that Stefan doesn’t give a shit about Rose, but offers him an old phone number. Probably won’t work, might not even be where he thinks it is, but if he can find it, he’ll text Stefan.

Elena puts Rose to bed and assures her she won’t die. “What a human thing to say,” says Rose. They chat about Damon, about how Rose only ever had friends, not family. She says Elena’s giving up by choosing this deal with Elijah, but I disagree. It’s the smartest thing Elena has done in the entirety of the show so far.

Rose asks her if she believes Bonnie destroyed the moonstone. Elena says she knows Bonnie had the help of another witch - but that it’s probably Elijah’s witch, and therefore, no. She doesn’t believe the moonstone was destroyed.

Elena! You’re so smart lately! I’m so proud of how much you’re growing. Keep it up and I’ll have to find someone new to hate!

Rose takes a turn for the worse. Delirious, vomiting blood. Elena runs to get some towels only to turn back to an empty bed -

because Rose is behind her and ready to chomp.

Or not chomp, as it turns out when we get back from the commercial. She thinks Elena is Katharine - just more delirium. Elena puts her back in the bloody bed (ew) and Rose starts muttering about her home and wasted time and, you know, dying stuff. Or “dying stuff” as imagined for teenagers in 2010.

Ric sends Stefan Isobel’s number; Stefan calls and leaves a message.

Damon comes in looking for Jules; Stefan intercepts him. He warns him: The Grill is full of people, yadda yadda. Damon says he’s just going to talk to Jules. He’s not about to make a scene. He pulls out of Stefan’s grip. Good thing: Stefan’s phone is ringing.

Damon tells Jules he’s willing to let her live, if she gives him the cure to a wolf bite. Jules is unmoved. She talks with some glee about the chills, the fever, the dementia. Damon demands the cure. She tells him it’s a stake through the heart.

Back at the house, Elena brings up clean sheets finally, only to be presented once again with an empty bed. Rose isn’t in the room, even, and Elena calls someone to come back home as she searches the house. She finds Rose in the basement, vamped out, eating all the refrigerated blood. Rose turns on her, thinking again she’s Katharine, chasing Elena through the house and forcing Elena to open a curtain on her and dig her fingers into her wound, before Elena is able to barricade herself in Stefan’s room.

Rose bangs on the door as Elena pulls open all the drapes and breaks a chair leg to use as a stake. Rose pleads from the other side of the door: she knows it’s Elena. She needs help.

Too bad Elena’s too scared to give it - or, at least, that’s what we’re left to believe as we segue back to the Big Community Event. A sign hanging behind Caroline in a high school hallway says “Booster Barbecue”, and that’s as good a reason as any for a party!

She’s taking out trash when Matt comes up to her and asks why this can’t happen. Why did she run away? Well? Doesn’t she have anything to say?

She blurts out that she loves him, and he says if she does, she’ll tell him what’s going on. If she loves him, can’t she give him the truth? She looks about to say it: “Matt, I’m a vampire.” But they’re interrupted by a cheerleader telling Matt they need more burgers, him turning to say not now - and Caroline takes the opportunity to escape. Jules could learn a thing or two, frankly.

Wait. Are we supposed to assume that Jules killed a deputy and burned his remains and then showed up 20 minutes later at The Grill?

I mean, yes, Time, How Does That Work?, but also -

I’m going to reserve some judgment, because that’s a HELL of an assumption for the audience to make, here, at least in my opinion. But, like, girlfriend is acting like she’s done nothing in the past couple of days except cause Damon and Rose some inconvenience. She just out here murdering all full moon, erry full moon? Just, a swath of dead humans following her around? WTF. I’m now so invested in this werewolf storyline. I guess that woman was right to steal others’ werewolf traumas for her own.

Darkness falls, and Rose has gone quiet. Elena moves her ersatz barricade and moves back through the house. The fire is lit, the front door is open, and Damon jump-scares her by showing up just then. Rose, however, is missing.

Well, not for us! We get to see her retching by the high school dumpsters, mere yards from the Booster Barbecue. For as many people as die at these functions, they’re always so well-attended. I wonder if people in neighboring towns are like, “Hey, there’s a Mystic Falls Founders event tomorrow. Wanna go see who dies?” Like, are there betting pools? Does everyone stay away on the off chance that they’ll end up an ancillary character in someone else’s story whose death will be used to make a point?

Anyway, Rose is poised to attack the Barbecue, just after she eats the janitor who’s brought the trash out.

But what’s this? Apparently the janitor was enough, because a deputy has found his body, called Liz, and Liz has called Damon, because it’s a vampire. Rose is long-gone, seemingly, and none of these people has been here very long, because Liz tells the deputies to move the barbecue inside the cafeteria. Like, shouldn’t they have done crowd control before calling Damon Salvatore? Or am I reading too much sense into Vampire Diaries again?

Anyway, she and Damon split up to search the school and the crowd. Elena has come with Damon, and is calling Stefan, but only getting voicemail. Guess that call with Isobel paid off? Damon gives Elena a stake to protect herself with.

A couple are headed to their car, talking about the “heart attack” someone had at the barbecue. Chomp chomp, little bitches: Rose was waiting for you! Damon tackles her and takes her home. She’s in and out of lucidity, consciousness. Sweaty. Ill. Damon tells Elena to leave, and there’s a lot of philosophical nonsense about death and fighting and whether or not people should care about each other… blah blah blah. I hate these parts. They’re never as profound as anyone seems to want them to be.

Tyler is waiting for Caroline. He wants to know why she would risk her life for him - why would she stick around for the transformation? Because he needed her. He needed a friend. And he didn’t kill her. And he won’t. And he should let people care about him!

Tyler kisses her. She kisses back. She loves Matt. He loves Matt, for that matter. She yells that everyone needs to stop kissing her and escapes into her house.

Home stretch: Rose Flashback Time. She at least is in a vaguely-medieval kirtle, thought the sleeves mark her out as richer than I think she’s supposed to be. Damon’s there - she’s dreaming? they’re dreaming together? it’s all a hallucination? Who cares.

Rose dies.

Damon shows Liz Rose’s body, assures Liz this is the vampire, and says he’ll take care of the body. Jeez. Poor Damon, too.

Tyler meets Jules at The Grill. She tells him she knows that he and Mason are werewolves, and tells him that Caroline is a vampire. He asks how she knows that, and she says they can sniff them out. So Tyler doesn’t know about the other vamps, but I still find it weird Caroline wouldn’t just tell him then and there. She was made by someone, vampirism isn’t spontaneous, he would have to assume there’s at least one more vamp, right?

I’m definitely too in my head about this show. Sometimes, the special interest chooses you.

Anyway. Jules figures out he’s a brand new baby wolf, and says she can help him. He asks if she knows where Mason is, and she says that Caroline and her “little vampire friends” killed him. Tyler says she’s the only vamp in town. ????? Jules says she lied, obviously, the town is crawling with vampires. But Tyler shouldn’t worry: they’ll “get them”.

Elena stops by to see if Damon’s all right, and of course he’s not, he feels guilty as hell, because Jules was trying to kill him, not Rose. He also tells Elena that she’s giving up?????? but yells at her to go home. He doesn’t want a babysitter. She hugs him; he allows it; she goes home.

Stefan is waiting for her. He confesses that he called Isobel. Elena isn’t upset; she asks if he found her. “Not exactly,” he says, and steps aside to reveal Uncle John Gilbert. Ugh.

Damon goes out and eats someone to feel better. Yeah, Damon, I think a little emotional eating is totally normal in this circumstance.

And it is December 20th, Snowflakes! Go fall on your families and friends for Catemas, and remember to always celebrate the reason for the season:

See y’all next year!